Continental - world class bullshitters

So I rock up to Birmingham International for flight CO27 to Newark (New York) on Monday 27 April. I'm there nice and early - 0700 for a 0900 flight. I'm in a window seat, but I'm ready for that. Glide through security. Pick up the papers and order the breakfast that will ensure I do not have to eat the disgusting food on board the plane.

It's around 0755 and the bacon and eggs are hitting the spot, even if the coffee is dreadful. There's an announcement beginning with the words Continental regrets to announce...

And what do you think they announce? I'll tell you what they announce. They announce that flight 27 has been delayed due to a technical fault with the aircraft. They say that further information will be provided at 0930. I take a deep breath and nearly choke on a bit of bacon.

Upon recovering my composure I decide that I will not let this spoil my day. So what if I have to forego the pleasure of my boss farting his way through the afternoon as he welcomes me to the US of A. I'll might still be there to enjoy dinner with the top man and my other colleagues. Of course a 90 minutes delay until we even get information suggests there is going to be a lengthy delay to departure. I decide to take it easy. Zone out might be the appropriate expression. I move to the public seating area and read the paper, while downloading the latest Bob Dylan album on my iPhone, using the airport's free Wifi service. I even manage to catch up with my faraway eldest son for a few minutes.

Time passes. It always does. My tunes download eventually - this Wifi network is free, but not blisteringly fast. Then I see it's 0900 and I figure it's time to catch up with my pals at Continental. I look at the board and there it is - CO27 - Final Call - Gate 55

So I run as fast as I can with my little trolley bag and I get to Gate 55 to be told that actually the flight boarded on time and that I will not be travelling on it today. Furthermore, I am a naughty boy since they announced that they'd changed their minds about the delay and even put out named calls for me. Shame on me for taking them at their word way back an hour ago.

In spite of my remonstrations that the cargo door was open and people were active in the hold, that I only had hand baggage and was essentially going for a day trip and that I really really would appreciate it if they could let me on board...they declined. The dozen or so Continental ground staff at the gate smirked and directed me to the ticket desk.

To be continued when I have the energy.